10 RED FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP : WHEN TO LET GO

Posted On June 26, 2020

There are some red flags you may have noticed in your relationship, but don’t pay attention to or you choose to ignore.
Moving on, and having the courage to face the fact that your relationship is not working can be tough. But, it is the rational thing to do if you feel lonely and unhappy. It doesn’t matter how strong you are, you can be vulnerable, and get hurt by someone you love the most.

The question you should ask yourself is, is he worth it? Will this pain lead to a happy ending someday? In my opinion, no pain leads to any happy ending, it will only get worse and destroy you ultimately. You may believe he will change soon, that there is still time to fix things, and make things work. News flash, people don’t change! When he shows you who he is, believe him and listen to him. It doesn’t take years to figure out nonsense. It takes days, weeks, or months, depending on when you’re ready to recognize it.

Nonetheless, is wise to be patient and get to know someone better. But when you continuously noticed some red flags, then why are you still there? I understand that he’s prolly good-looking, charming and a freak in bed, but that is nothing compare to true love and happiness you will receive from someone who will genuinely love you and want to be there for you.

There’s someone out there for everyone, someone you are more compatible with, that will put a smile on your face and show you what real love is all about. Having said that, when you stay with the wrong man, you hinder the right man from finding you. You have to let him go, for the right man to find you and give you the love that you deserve.

Anyhow, here are some signs that show he is not the one for you:

Inconsistent:

Inconsistency is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship, when his words don’t match his actions, that’s a big problem. If he can’t keep his word, he can’t commit to you. Do you really want to be with someone who is a flake, and doesn’t take you seriously? It’s hard at first when you are still getting to know him, you may think he’s busy or has a lot going on. Someone who truly loves you, will make time for you. Settling for less than what you deserve is going to affect your self-esteem at the long run. So, dump him if he is inconsistent, unreliable and can’t even make it to a date he planned!

Unavailable

Spending time with your significant other is important, is crucial to know detailed things about each other. And explore each other’s mind, and soul. He may have a busy life, and work can be hectic sometimes, but that’s not a good reason not to spend time you.

We have something called schedule, you can always plan the day and time that is convenient for both of you to meet. If he always shows up late, or no show at all, then you obviously mean nothing to him. Hence, don’t continue to accommodate his behavior, it will only get worse. Don’t stoop so low to his games. A real man doesn’t play games, or lie about his feelings and intentions.

Disrespectful:

Showing lack of respect, and not having any regards for you is a red flag. Being disrespectful doesn’t only relate to arrogance or rudeness, it can be acts like not returning your call for days or not responding to your messages. Also, canceling last minute when you have plans and not reaching out to give you details why he canceled. Such act shouldn’t be tolerated. You can point it at first, tell him how you feel about his behavior. But if it continues, it proves it doesn’t care about you, and he’s insensitive to your feelings.

Unsupportive:

A man who truly loves you should be there for you, especially when you need him the most. If he can’t be emotionally supportive, and provide encouragement, and be of assistant of something you need, then he’s selfish.

Although, support is both ways. When is one sided, it becomes draining. Being with a man who is unsupportive is like being alone, what’s the point of being with him if he’s never there to encourage you in making a big decision, or to comfort you when you down. Here comes the big question, what’s the point of being with him when you get to do everything yourself?

Lack of Communication:

Communication is one of the key elements to a successful relationship. Lack of communication is the beginning of the end of any relationship; it won’t last for long. Most men prefer texting to calling, have you ever wondered why? Is certainly because texting is easy for them to chat with bunch of women at the same time, and avoid emotional involvement with you.

They enjoy the thrill of having to communicate with as many women as possible, and they can only do that through texting! Whereas, some are just-flat out lazy, and maybe too shy to talk on phone. In other words, someone who is serious and wants to really know you, will prefer to call. How can you know someone through texting? Impossible!

Abusive:

There are 6 types of abuse; Physical, emotional, sexual, financial, digital and stalking. Abuse is a big red flag, and certain people rely on drugs, and other substances to avoid pains caused by these abuses. I would recommend you seek help if you are in any form of danger, or in danger to yourself. The signs of emotional abuse can be tricky if you are still getting to know someone, but after a while it becomes obvious. So, if he’s passive aggressive, intimidating, and manipulating, then is definitely abusive. This should not be tolerated for long, because it gets worse as you get more involved with him.

Uncommitted:

Commitment is a big deal, is the end goal of every relation. Wasting time with the wrong person can lead someone astray. We all learn from our mistakes, from every relationship we have been in. I believe the universe can send someone to your life to teach you lesson you may need in the future; all relationship can’t lead to a lifetime commitment.

However, you should discuss with the person you’re involved with and be direct about your expectations. He may not want same thing as you, is better to clarify things from the start. Avoid men that say “Let’s see how things go”, they already see things not going anywhere, and will use you just to pass time.

Inattentive:

If he is easily distracted, and doesn’t pay attention to you, or what you say, that’s also a red flag. If he doesn’t listen to you, how can he treat you right? Paying attention to little details shows he is interested in you, and he’s there for the right reasons. Also, being inattentive shows lack of interest, and that he is more interested in the physical part of the relationship. You should be with someone who wants to know the real you, that listens to you, and most importantly doesn’t forget anything relevant to you.

Selfish:

It’s difficult, and stressful to be with someone selfish. If all he talks and cares about is himself, then he is obviously a narcissistic. Narcissistic is a personality disorder, is found commonly in men. The excessive attention and admiration he seeks, and lack of empathy for others is a big red flag. Such person is impossible to be with, save yourself the headache and don’t get involve with such a man.

Your health, and happiness should come first, never lose yourself to anyone.

Unhappy:

Finally, we all want to be happy with our significant other. Why waste anymore time with him if you’re not happy? Love is never enough to be with someone who doesn’t treat you right, and gradually destroy your self-esteem. Your health, and happiness should come first, never lose yourself to anyone. Hence, don’t waste one minute of your time with a man who makes you feel worthless. I know is easier said than done, but self-love is the most powerful love, and it will help you through that breaking point.