7 MAJOR SIGNS OF LOVE BOMBING
What is love bombing?
Love bombing is an effort made to control a person by demonstration of attention and affection. This often occur when someone overwhelms the victim by making grand romantic gestures, quickly saying “I love you”, and other physical actions to manipulate you. But why do men/women love bomb? Is it because they are insecure, or obsessed with power? Or they are narcissistic? Love bombing is one of narcissistic traits and weapon to control their victims and make them feel guilty and trapped.
Now let’s see if you have come across any one of these signs of love bombing.
1. Excessive Communication
Have you ever been with someone who promotes excessive communication? This happens at the beginning stage of a relationship; he wants to call few times a day and expect you to do the same every day. It’s romantic to wake up to a morning text/call, and a couple of calls a day and before bedtime. But soon, you will get used to this type of communication, depend on it and look forward to it every day. Then what happen when it stops? Would you panic and start wondering about the whereabout of your potential S.O? That’s exactly what he wants, to control your emotions and be able to manipulate you to do what he wants.
2. Giving extravagant gifts
This is one of the most common love bombing tool, very few people turn down nice gifts. But definitely not to their lover because they think he/she is just being nice and romantic, right? However, not always, cause they are giving with expectation. They want your attention, and time in return with no questions asked. And if you don’t give them what they want, they make you feel guilty by saying “After everything I have done for you?”. A nice person shouldn’t make you feel like you are indebted to him/her. Thus, learn how to stand up for yourself when you feel something is not right, trust your intuition.
3. Resisting your boundaries
Individuals who love bomb always resist boundaries; they don’t care about rules and not afraid to break them. Have you been with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries? It could be actions like “spying through your phones, asking for your passwords, showing at your place uninvited, making suggestions that you cant say no to, and the list goes on. Now, setting boundaries is very important in this situation. Learn to set boundaries when you feel uncomfortable and feel that your space is being violated, never be afraid to say ‘NO’.
4. Saying “I Love you”
They usually say ‘I love you’ within the first few days after meeting you. And will continue to convince you how real it is, and how they’ve never felt that way before. But 9 out of 10 is a big fat lie, they don’t love you at all. How could they love you? They don’t even know you! When someone says he/she loves you after a few days or weeks, especially when you haven’t met them, that’s a lie. Love takes time to grow, you need to spend time with someone and really get to know them before you fall for them.
5. Promises about the future
Majority of people are very excited when they meet someone who has the same plans as them, but how genuine do you think these plans are? Narcissistic is quick to make promises about the future, and tell you exactly what you want to hear. They are quick to make ‘soul mate’ declaration to give you false hope, and to establish intimacy quickly. Have you ever met someone who said you are the one he has been searching for his whole life? And how did you feel about that? Excited or Scared? This manipulative tactic usually works to let your guard down. Be wary about people who quickly make promises about the future, some can be very convincing. Tell them to slow down, that you prefer to take things slow, this usually push them away if they are not genuine.
6. Excessive Compliments
Compliments seems to boost our egos, and make us feel confident and excited. People who love bomb knows this, and they usually use this as a weapon to get you excited and let your guard down. It’s actually a powerful tool to make someone tender and open to manipulation. That being said, know who you are and what you want, and don’t easily get carried away by some compliments. I know is hard, you want someone who will tell you how beautiful and wonderful you are, but you should know when is real and fake.
7. Request constant attention/Commitment
This type of Love bombing can be draining, and exhausting. Have you ever felt drained in a relationship over a short period of time? Bingo! Your potential S.O always request for constant attention by spending so much time with you, and asking you to move in after few months of dating. As promising as it sounds, it can be too soon if you don’t really know each other. People who are clingy won’t be aware if they are being love bombed and will be convinced they’ve found their soulmate, but someone who is very independent and loves their private space will easily notice it.
Final Thoughts
Love bombing can be hard to pin point, a lot of people are victim of it and don’t even know it. Watch out for these signs, and take immediate actions by staying clear from that individual or by telling them to take things slow. A nice person will listen, and respect your wish.
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